My Face is a Lie

People often come up to me and ask me questions asking me where I’m from.  When they aren’t satisfied with the answer that I was born in Virginia, they ask me what my nationality is. When I repeat that I was born in Virginia, and therefore, am an American, they still aren’t satisfied.  They feel the need to keep digging until I finally reveal that my mom is Chinese. I do not understand why people care so much, if I am not forth giving about the information then it is not something that they should try to pry out of me. They ask because my face gives away that I’m some sort of Asian, but even though it’s part of my physical appearance, it isn’t a defining part of me.  I don’t like to talk to people about my heritage, because I don’t want them to think of that when they think of me.  I am not saying that being Asian is bad, it just isn’t part of my identity.  My dad was born and raised in America, my mom was raised in America, and so I was raised without any real Asian influence.  I realize America is full of different nationalities, and an Asian person can be American and still embrace their Asian culture; but an average American home is very different than an average Asian home, and I was raised in an average American household.  We don’t eat Chinese food, we don’t speak Chinese around the house, and we don’t celebrate Chinese holidays -- basically being half Chinese has not impacted my life or identity much at all.

Since it hasn’t impacted me much, I feel like my face is lying about my identity.  It’s like someone wearing a Spiderman shirt and not even knowing that Spiderman’s name is Peter Parker.  I know as much about Asian culture as any other white kid that grew up in America, basically just stereotypes.  People think it’s cool that I’m half Asian, they say they’ve always wanted to be Asian.  I don’t know why they think it’s cool when I’m not truthfully that Asian.  I just look the part.  Yes, my Asian grandparents have an interesting history; my Asian great grandmother has an amazing story of her struggle to get her kids to safety through the war in china against the Japanese.  But that has nothing to do with my identity. That isn’t my achievement, I admire her but I take no credit whatsoever.  If I felt a strong connection with my past or heritage, I would probably feel proud of it, but it would feel like plagiarism to me if I was proud of being Asian, because I’m not Asian at all except for my look. 

  Unlike me, two of my best friends are Asian and have been affected by it.  Both of them love Asian food, have lived in Asia, and celebrate Asian holidays.  They are the real deal.  They are a mix of American and Asian culture and are proud of it.  By being around them and looking like them, people often mistake me for being just like that.  People should get to know me, and learn about how I identify myself, instead of just making inferences based off of part of my appearance that I have no control over.  Making certain connections based on the way someone dresses is okay most of the time.  People have control over the way they dress; they are trying to make a statement or represent themselves with their clothes.  It might only be that they are saying that they like the color pink, don’t care about fashion, or are professional about their work, but the way they dress is a choice; it is part of their identity.  Making assumptions about someone on part of their appearance that that person cannot control, like skin color, hair, or eyes, is completely unfair and insensitive to that person’s individuality.    

Most of those assumptions that people make based off of my physical appearance are Asian stereotypes.  I am not a quiet, shy, submissive Asian girl.  I am a loud opinionated teenager that happens to look half Asian.  I am not a schoolaholic, my grades are far from stellar, and my Asian mother does not try and kill me when I get a B.  I was not a ten year old protegee at anything.  I was never good at playing an instrument.  I am not good at math.  My diet does not solely consist of rice.  I am not being forced by my parents to become a doctor, I have never had a hello kitty obsession, and I am not a ninja.  I am not an Asian stereotype.  Please learn about me as an individual through how I choose to express myself before making any assumptions on my identity.